Where better to start our Fallout 4 Lazy Story Guide than the beginning of the game, that is to say, the actual beginning of the game. Not the shite window dressing prelude, which lets be honest, was the second confirmation Bethesda shit all over your favourite video game franchise Fallout. After you chose to ignore the male player wearing a red dress in the marketing trailer.
Look you sickly faced fuckers, you get to wear a dress. Look how "fun" this game is.
So after witnessing the love of our life getting murdered in front of our eyes and our first born son being taken by an unknown group, we leave vault 111 with little more than our blue Lycra bun shapers and a thirst for answers.
Officer Cornflake shoots armed assailant
Sunset Sarsaparilla shirt
We meander past all the dead trees and decayed derelict buildings to have a gas with Codsworth, our robot butler. Now it's worth noting how much money Nate and Nora (the two playable characters from Fallout 4) must have. He's a retired soldier and we don't know what the missus' job was (or if she even has one), but we do know she had a law degree. Apparently that's enough to buy a house, car and robot butler in the super inflation age Fallout 4 is set in.
After seeing his son shot Nate sees if returning home will make it all better
After talking to Codsworth we realise we're in deep shit. Fallout 4 has made us more sympathetic to the plight of a floating tin can, than it has towards the main players reason for existing.
So you've been awake for 200 years and you still don't know anything?
Now my first question meeting Codsworth is how is he still powered? I get he is a hybrid part nuclear powered, part gas powered machine (the gas part powers his floating), but where the fuck is he getting the fuel to maintain his flight? Even if he was conservative with flying and raided the local area for supplies, he has still been going for over 200 years. But he hasn't been conservative with energy, you hear him yourself tell you how he's been cleaning. The gas used to maintain his flight and thereby his mobility, is also powering his flamer, which he is no doubt using to stop the locals smashing his tin can head in. Lastly petroleum derived fuels (in fairness like most things) gets shitter over time, so the "gas" he's using to fly and burn shit, will most likely be as much use as a wet fart.
We don't need central heating because it's 1000 degrees in here, sure is fucking hard to breathe though
Goodneighbor shirt
Anyway Codsworth tells us he knows fuck all, he's been powered for over 200 hundred years and apparently has learned nothing about the world around him. Still we listen to his bullshit and go for a nice walk around what was the suburban hell hole you used to call home.
Life in the suburbs is hellish
That's when I noticed one tree still seemed to be alive after 200 hundred years. Don't get me wrong, I know some trees can live a hell of a long time. But this one will have had the sun shrouded out by dust thrown in the air from the mushroom clouds. Then been rained on with radioactive water, to add to the mix of nuclear particles already bombarding it's body, limbs and now root system. So why the fuck is it still around?
Problematic tree
After we've made the rounds with Codsworth, in the worlds lamest learn-to-do-basic-shit tutorial, we head over to the Red Rocket Truck Stop.
This place is pretty interesting and iconic, so I created a Red Rocket Cafe t-shirt design to accompany the video and article. I'll be doing this with some future videos, depending if I can make something suitable. I think this design came out pretty sweet.
Red Rocket Cafe shirt by Roley
It's at the Red Rocket Truck Stop that we meet our canine companion, Dogmeat and only a few steps down the hill, that we come to see what a fuck up they made with including him. You see you quickly come across some giant flying insects feeding on a dead cow. Now instead of our heroic dog showing what a badass he is, by leaping in the air and tearing these flying freaks apart, he quickly gets a rolled up newspaper to the nose and has a lie down. His body also has collision, meaning he will often get in the way and trap you in door ways, meaning he's an inconvenience.
Red Rocket Truck Stop lets you take your dog inside
Making him immortal takes away any notion that you can build up a bond with something you must protect, else you lose it forever. You don't need to care for him, so you don't care for him. Still it is cool to have Fallout's resident Alsatian roam the wasteland with you, so it's not all bad.
Tell me the truth..do I look a gimp in this suit?
While we're at the Red Rocket we get a little glimpse into the Fallout universe. Like with the prices of the coolant indicating the hyper inflation their world is going through, brought on by scarcity and conflict.
The back entrance is full of toxic material
Inside we see that zero fucks are given by the employees of this place when it comes to the environment and regulations. There are details on how they have been dumping toxic waste in a cave underneath the site, but have received a "Trash Buster" award for their effort in reducing waste. This little location gives us a nice little overview of the climate in the Fallout universe.
No body checks why they are better than the other stores?
Like how with oil being almost depleted, they have turned to nuclear power to keep the party going, so to speak. And how an abundance of nuclear energy is creating huge waste problems and technology shifts in the world we inhabit.
Avoid dying around the "clean" energy source
Still Codsworth gave us a lead to head to Concord, so that's what we'll do next, as we laser focus on tracking down our beloved wife's murderers and only son's kidnappers. For we have sculpted buns of blue steel, an orchestral accompaniment and iron resolve.
So join us next time in this Fallout 4 Lazy Story Guide.
Words that go with the video
So let’s recap what’s happened. The love of our life has been murdered in front of our eyes, our first and only child has been stolen. But instead of the cliché crying and blowing snot bubbles inbetween - talking in a spaced out way because we can’t get our breathe.
We decide to be indifferent to - everything. But I’m sure this is only post traumatic stress disorder and as soon as we return home we’re about to come to a stark realisation of our situation. Then our voiced protagonist will silence all the detractors who wanted the player to be silent, in this role playing game. As the tidal wave of emotion comes crashing down on the player and we’re all washed away by the performance. Leaving us all damp, but happy that our cynicism has been cleansed away, leaving us content and surrounded by mud crabs, just to round off this metaphor.
Ok I’m thinking this p.t.s.d is deep rooted, either that or our character has been emotionally upstaged by a robot. Regardless, the thirty seconds I spent with the wife and kid at the beginning of the game, made me personally forge a long emotional bond that won’t be broken. So I’m going to hunt down for answers and get my son back. Because I’m so going to put right this injustice it’s untrue.
But maybe one thing you could answer me, as we search for answers, together that is. How come the trees still seem to be alive? I did a search awhile ago and if I remember the bomb went off about 20 miles away, not sure on exact distance and I can’t be bothered checking now. But a blast that close, coupled with the rest of America land the theme park being microwaved at the same time, would mean they should all be dead - shouldn't they? I would imagine the nukes in the Fallout universe would cause more damage than they do in the real world, as they are more nuclear driven.
Anyway while you ponder that, let’s listen to r2 d2.
Let’s bring the new comers up to speed. That robot Codsworth was our robot butler from before the war.
Now he’s managed to not get destroyed from the emp blast of the local nuke and instead has gone a bit mad, what with being programmed to serve and having no one to serve. He’s give us a bit of a lead, but mostly just enraged us for the way he say’s concord, making sound like conquered. Only a big deal if you are trying to carry off a posh English accent like, but I’ll just swallow this ball of rage down and use it against the low down dirty son of a jelly bean, who done gone took my baby boy.
Now that point I made earlier about the robot, some how avoiding getting fried by the e.m.p, raises another question I have for you. Why wouldn’t the Chinese have detonated some of their nuclear arsenal in the air? I am of course simplifying the war and saying the Chinese attacked, it’s a big complex issue of what was involved. But to make this question easier and offset all the damage other so called "Fallout channels" have churned out, we’ll assume the same - I might make something on the topic in the future. And yes I do stifle my vomit sometimes to watch what you have to put up with on YouTube, so I do feel for you bread bins.
Like I say though, the Chinese are aware how technology dependent the America land theme park is. So a couple of airborne nukes would have disabled a lot of the tech, like power armour and such, making it a lot easier to roll over the populace and take what they want. So why didn’t they?
While you mull over that we’re going to head over to the Red Rocket. Now you’ve seen from the top of this video I’ve made a Red Rocket design shirt, which you can get from Roley dot co dot uk. It’s my own design and I want to create shirts around the episodes we do, so that‘s what I‘m gonna do.
Now the reason we’re visiting this Red Rocket isn’t to discuss the philosophy around this location, hopefully I can bring you stuff like that in the future. It’s because it has something you might miss at first glance.
Oh but first let’s meet man’s best friend who I can form a meaningful and heartfelt companionship with. I sure hope the close bond we establish doesn’t get broken when he get’s violently murdered.
Luckily it appears this Alsatian can’t die, so I don’t have to fear that. I do however have to endure a sickening noise every time he’s injured, which being honest kills me a little more each time inside, but ho hum. I’m sure he’ll be no mither as we check out this place I wanted to show you.
So if we head out the back of the Red Rocket, we find this little hidey hole. It mentions a cave on the computer in the building that talks about this, but it’s still easy to overlook.
Between the information on the computer, the piece of paper found inside the cave and all the radioactive junk, we now know this was a dumping ground for the people who work here.
This gives us an insight into the Fallout world’s view on health and safety and whether nuclear energy will ever be a safe option. You know the stuff you keep locked in metal barrels, that has to be stored in concrete bunkers for a billion years. Hidden in secret locations to stop terrorists using it as a weapon. Also have to be a tad careful it’s not allowed to seep into the water table where it will poison ...everything.
Yeah that clean energy source.
Right it’s time we went on from here, most likely to Concord…Concord….like Concord aeroplane. Not conquered aeroplane.
We’ll move on towards Concord and see if there is anything interesting there. Maybe unearth a few more questions that make this game seem more interesting than it is. Maybe lay the ground work for some theory videos, which some people will miss as light hearted entertainment and instead think I’m presenting cold scientific fact. Because they don’t understand the word theory is used outside of the scientific field and doesn’t mean the same thing.
But we know don’t we, we know it’s just light hearted fun, cause we’re crazy cats.
Now forgive me I’m overcome with emotion from the loss of my missus. Grr gonna get my kid back. I’m going to look out into the blue yonder full of them emotions about getting my boy back.
Yeah sure I seemed distracted in this episode, but I’m sure the next episode, I’ll be a volcano of feelings and action. No doubt sniffing out where my boy is real easy like.
Oh yeah check out the shirts and passes.
We decide to be indifferent to - everything. But I’m sure this is only post traumatic stress disorder and as soon as we return home we’re about to come to a stark realisation of our situation. Then our voiced protagonist will silence all the detractors who wanted the player to be silent, in this role playing game. As the tidal wave of emotion comes crashing down on the player and we’re all washed away by the performance. Leaving us all damp, but happy that our cynicism has been cleansed away, leaving us content and surrounded by mud crabs, just to round off this metaphor.
Ok I’m thinking this p.t.s.d is deep rooted, either that or our character has been emotionally upstaged by a robot. Regardless, the thirty seconds I spent with the wife and kid at the beginning of the game, made me personally forge a long emotional bond that won’t be broken. So I’m going to hunt down for answers and get my son back. Because I’m so going to put right this injustice it’s untrue.
But maybe one thing you could answer me, as we search for answers, together that is. How come the trees still seem to be alive? I did a search awhile ago and if I remember the bomb went off about 20 miles away, not sure on exact distance and I can’t be bothered checking now. But a blast that close, coupled with the rest of America land the theme park being microwaved at the same time, would mean they should all be dead - shouldn't they? I would imagine the nukes in the Fallout universe would cause more damage than they do in the real world, as they are more nuclear driven.
Anyway while you ponder that, let’s listen to r2 d2.
Let’s bring the new comers up to speed. That robot Codsworth was our robot butler from before the war.
Now he’s managed to not get destroyed from the emp blast of the local nuke and instead has gone a bit mad, what with being programmed to serve and having no one to serve. He’s give us a bit of a lead, but mostly just enraged us for the way he say’s concord, making sound like conquered. Only a big deal if you are trying to carry off a posh English accent like, but I’ll just swallow this ball of rage down and use it against the low down dirty son of a jelly bean, who done gone took my baby boy.
Now that point I made earlier about the robot, some how avoiding getting fried by the e.m.p, raises another question I have for you. Why wouldn’t the Chinese have detonated some of their nuclear arsenal in the air? I am of course simplifying the war and saying the Chinese attacked, it’s a big complex issue of what was involved. But to make this question easier and offset all the damage other so called "Fallout channels" have churned out, we’ll assume the same - I might make something on the topic in the future. And yes I do stifle my vomit sometimes to watch what you have to put up with on YouTube, so I do feel for you bread bins.
Like I say though, the Chinese are aware how technology dependent the America land theme park is. So a couple of airborne nukes would have disabled a lot of the tech, like power armour and such, making it a lot easier to roll over the populace and take what they want. So why didn’t they?
While you mull over that we’re going to head over to the Red Rocket. Now you’ve seen from the top of this video I’ve made a Red Rocket design shirt, which you can get from Roley dot co dot uk. It’s my own design and I want to create shirts around the episodes we do, so that‘s what I‘m gonna do.
Now the reason we’re visiting this Red Rocket isn’t to discuss the philosophy around this location, hopefully I can bring you stuff like that in the future. It’s because it has something you might miss at first glance.
Oh but first let’s meet man’s best friend who I can form a meaningful and heartfelt companionship with. I sure hope the close bond we establish doesn’t get broken when he get’s violently murdered.
Luckily it appears this Alsatian can’t die, so I don’t have to fear that. I do however have to endure a sickening noise every time he’s injured, which being honest kills me a little more each time inside, but ho hum. I’m sure he’ll be no mither as we check out this place I wanted to show you.
So if we head out the back of the Red Rocket, we find this little hidey hole. It mentions a cave on the computer in the building that talks about this, but it’s still easy to overlook.
Between the information on the computer, the piece of paper found inside the cave and all the radioactive junk, we now know this was a dumping ground for the people who work here.
This gives us an insight into the Fallout world’s view on health and safety and whether nuclear energy will ever be a safe option. You know the stuff you keep locked in metal barrels, that has to be stored in concrete bunkers for a billion years. Hidden in secret locations to stop terrorists using it as a weapon. Also have to be a tad careful it’s not allowed to seep into the water table where it will poison ...everything.
Yeah that clean energy source.
Right it’s time we went on from here, most likely to Concord…Concord….like Concord aeroplane. Not conquered aeroplane.
We’ll move on towards Concord and see if there is anything interesting there. Maybe unearth a few more questions that make this game seem more interesting than it is. Maybe lay the ground work for some theory videos, which some people will miss as light hearted entertainment and instead think I’m presenting cold scientific fact. Because they don’t understand the word theory is used outside of the scientific field and doesn’t mean the same thing.
But we know don’t we, we know it’s just light hearted fun, cause we’re crazy cats.
Now forgive me I’m overcome with emotion from the loss of my missus. Grr gonna get my kid back. I’m going to look out into the blue yonder full of them emotions about getting my boy back.
Yeah sure I seemed distracted in this episode, but I’m sure the next episode, I’ll be a volcano of feelings and action. No doubt sniffing out where my boy is real easy like.
Oh yeah check out the shirts and passes.
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