Catch 47

Things have been a bit hectic recently and I have to be honest, frustration is starting to creep in. Working in the creative industry can often be like that, as working on projects can become long and drawn out, with some never actually seeing the light of day.

Non-physical thing's (like videos, art, software, music etc) the development-to-fulfilment cycle is long and sometimes even impossible to complete without someone other than you, enjoying what you've created. This is the direct opposite of creating something physical, which gives you constant feedback as you make it. And if no fucker other than you ever sees it, at least you like it and can enjoy it.

This outlook can kill a lot of projects, as ultimately you know the support won't be enough. In fact I've canned off quite a few long-form gaming related videos I'd been working on for a long time. The reasons are quite intricate, but it boils down to gaming being in a bad place and me ultimately questioning my return on making any game related content.

But what do you means? How is gaming in a bad place and why would you not get a return?​

How is gaming in a bad place and why would you not get a return?

Let's be clear gaming is in a bad place, but most people wouldn't know it. Like say you were walking past a lake and suddenly, the pocket of earth containing trapped carbon dioxide under the lake bed was cracked, you wouldn't know what's going on until it was too late.
​
It's a super niche subject which I may touch on in the future, so for now I want to talk about returns.

Quite simply put, I'm doing the things that are worth my time doing. Not just financially, although that is very important, but I mean a sense of fulfilment. The whole point in doing a creative job is taking control of your future and building rich, rewarding experiences for yourself, not just other people.

But this is a catch-47 situation (much worse than catch-22). You can't just knock out a "quick" video, because they don't exist. Even something that takes only a minute or two to watch, may take a week or more to produce. And insultingly enough, people put a low monetary value on a video being less than 5 minutes, as in - not being worth anything, even if they did enjoy it (I know people are fucked up).

So if a compromise ​of my own fulfilment and viewers finding financial value in my work is to be achieved, my videos will have to have a certain level of quality. Which ultimately means they will be few and far between. 

being creative versus making physical objects

I have come to terms with this and have worked out how to do it. I think about my long term plans and judge how what I'm doing will affect it, trying not to get caught up too much in short term turbulence. I've also learned to use producing physical things to scratch my creation reward itch (so to speak).

It's not a case of being creative versus making physical objects, it's a case of do both - this isn't an 'or' house.

So I'm off-setting the creative fatigue of making things like videos and games, by making real stuff again.

my own posters

I've started by creating my own posters for myself. This is art I've worked on for various reasons, that has now got the chance to be brought to life. Which I have to say is pretty enjoyable work. I made a poster the other day about a video I was going to do and while I binned the video, I at least got to make a poster from it.

I've got some other things in mind that can hopefully tie in with what I'm doing, but they will take longer to assemble.

my first Steam game

Work on my first Steam game(I mean I hope to get it on there) is very slow. Trying to create something that hasn't been done before is a long arduous task, especially when fighting off fatigue.

Early artwork is in place and some basic semblance ​of the gameplay is there, but there is a hell of a long way to go. The weird part is I'm looking forward to it. It's a long road, but like a knackered marathon runner, with blisters on his feet, feeling like he wishes he would die, I know the pain will be worth it when I look back on it - so I've got to finish.

My greatest unknown on the project is the advertising of it. Like where to do it and how long for? I'm sure I'll figure it out as I've got quite some time before that's even an issue anyway.

Kalzor's soundtrack on YouTube

Oh, I released Kalzor's soundtrack on YouTube so people can listen for free. It's got a retro theme that's in keeping with the game.

It won't be to everyone's tastes, but hopefully it will expose more people to the charming-end of games. If we just save the life of one kid it will be worth it.

​Kisses!