Memory can be a fickle thing, for example one of my fondest memories was playing with uncle Rapey. We had lots of adventures, like where he’d recreate the giant snake like creature coming out of the sand from the film Tremors. He’d then have me shake the beast until it spat out its poison, before it would die and slowly shrink in size and shrivel away.
Or where he’d recreate the giant snake creature coming out of the water from the film Anaconda. He’d then have me shake the beast until it spat out its poison, before it would die and slowly shrink in size and shrivel away.
Now as it turns out what uncle Rapey was having me do was, well I can’t actually say until the court hearing is over.
But my point is you grow up and see things differently than when you were young.
Like watching Friends now and wondering how anybody thought it was funny.
Or growing to enjoy the Offices sense of humour.
Altered Beast is like Ricky Gervais’s The Office, as in the English version is superior to the American one in every fucking way.
One memory that hasn’t faltered over time was how ball tingly good seeing the character change from a human into a werewolf was in Altered Beast.
This might not seem a big deal today as the world has been taken over by jaded cunts who can’t enjoy anything unless it wears the latest 3d graphics. But as these same people think Corona virus came from bat soup, something the Chinese have eaten for hundreds of years, and not the countries one and only top level microbiology lab. Which is located in the epicentre of the epidemic, their opinion means shit to me.
The tiger's wobbly fire ball, the flying dragon’s, yes flying fucking dragon’s, electrical shield and the bear's breath that turns enemies to stone are still the dog's bollox to this day.
As for why all this is happening, well that’s straight forward.
Old big nose showed up with a sob story of how he’d been kicked out of 109 other kingdoms, which Zeus falls for, like a clown. Anyway before you know it, Zeus’s daughter has been #metoo’d, the banking, media and government have all been taken over.
So Zeus skours the graveyard perusing over the many men who died in the field of construction due to poor health and safety practises of the period, before he resurrects a chump, I mean champion.
You get goosed up on steroids and go round kicking everyone you meet in the testicles, causing them to violently shit their skin off.
In fact you get so jacked up on roids that your inner animal actually manifests itself, just as big nose shows up. You slap him about a bit before he literally sucks the blue balls out of you, don’t judge it was ancient Greece. Everyone was a bit fruity.
You let him suck your balls a few times before you rip his head off and tea bag his corpse. Then Zeus rewards your efforts by letting you rip the back out of his daughter.
Overall Altered Beast is a romantic story, one that young men can learn from. If you do enough steroids and kick enough homeless people in the balls, then you too can rip the back out of a powerful man’s daughter.
Or where he’d recreate the giant snake creature coming out of the water from the film Anaconda. He’d then have me shake the beast until it spat out its poison, before it would die and slowly shrink in size and shrivel away.
Now as it turns out what uncle Rapey was having me do was, well I can’t actually say until the court hearing is over.
But my point is you grow up and see things differently than when you were young.
Like watching Friends now and wondering how anybody thought it was funny.
Or growing to enjoy the Offices sense of humour.
Altered Beast is like Ricky Gervais’s The Office, as in the English version is superior to the American one in every fucking way.
One memory that hasn’t faltered over time was how ball tingly good seeing the character change from a human into a werewolf was in Altered Beast.
This might not seem a big deal today as the world has been taken over by jaded cunts who can’t enjoy anything unless it wears the latest 3d graphics. But as these same people think Corona virus came from bat soup, something the Chinese have eaten for hundreds of years, and not the countries one and only top level microbiology lab. Which is located in the epicentre of the epidemic, their opinion means shit to me.
The tiger's wobbly fire ball, the flying dragon’s, yes flying fucking dragon’s, electrical shield and the bear's breath that turns enemies to stone are still the dog's bollox to this day.
As for why all this is happening, well that’s straight forward.
Old big nose showed up with a sob story of how he’d been kicked out of 109 other kingdoms, which Zeus falls for, like a clown. Anyway before you know it, Zeus’s daughter has been #metoo’d, the banking, media and government have all been taken over.
So Zeus skours the graveyard perusing over the many men who died in the field of construction due to poor health and safety practises of the period, before he resurrects a chump, I mean champion.
You get goosed up on steroids and go round kicking everyone you meet in the testicles, causing them to violently shit their skin off.
In fact you get so jacked up on roids that your inner animal actually manifests itself, just as big nose shows up. You slap him about a bit before he literally sucks the blue balls out of you, don’t judge it was ancient Greece. Everyone was a bit fruity.
You let him suck your balls a few times before you rip his head off and tea bag his corpse. Then Zeus rewards your efforts by letting you rip the back out of his daughter.
Overall Altered Beast is a romantic story, one that young men can learn from. If you do enough steroids and kick enough homeless people in the balls, then you too can rip the back out of a powerful man’s daughter.
By Roley
18/03/2020
18/03/2020